why honduras?

believe it or not, i too have pondered this same question several times since we decided on february 5th to commit the next year (or so) of our lives to a small international school, in a big city, in a far away place neither jason or i have any real connection with. some of my questions have been: why honduras? you don't know anyone there. why honduras? it's going to be super hot all the time! why now? when the lives of the people who mean the most to you are changing so rapidly... new homes, new babies, new experiences. why now? when your life seems so uncertain from day to day, yet at the same time starting to build consistency that has been lacking. i have been blessed with a job in a very sought after school district, with a wide open future full of professional possibilities. i have found community with close friends who know me better than i know myself at times, and a wonderfully large and always present family that cares about the little things in my life, as well as the big things. i have finally met the man i have prayed years for, and now after (almost) two years of marriage, feel like we're ready to start our future together as we're both wrapping up graduate school and are ready to storm the wide open spaces of what looks like endless opportunities. so, seriously, why now God?

something i read recently that deeply impacted how I think about God's involvement in our lives is the reminder that God works in themes throughout our lives. and, when i stopped to really think about this, i realized that was true in my life for sure. why can't i seem to learn the lesson of complete dependence and surrender upon God alone. i have replaced His presence in my life so many times, with so many things. relationships have played temporary roles of stability and identify for me. work, exercise, my "to do list" has continued to keep me so busy that i forget how much i deeply need the presence of God in my life to give me purpose, rest, security and hope. i have kept lists of things to do now, and things to do "soon" and things to do in the future for as long as i can remember. i think i have always found safety in my lists, believing that i could somehow control the days and months and years of my life, as long as my list was thorough enough. and sometimes i have done just that, controlled.

so, why honduras? thankfully my sweet jason understands my need to relinquish control and rely completely on God working in our lives. couldn't we learn that lesson here, in the familiarity of our jobs and our home and our community? sure. probably. He can do anything. but for me, i feel like i need to hit the "pause" button for a minute. pause on everything we have found ourselves committed to in our first two years together. pause to simplify our lives in terms of time, space, belongings, pace of life. pause to invite God alone to speak His words of faith, love and calling in to our lives. i believe we've been trying to do this all along, but don't always live like we mean it. our prayer is that during this next year of uncertainty that God would continue to define for us His purposes for our new life together, both daily responsibilities and future dreams. we hope for sweet moments together of celebrating the new life he has joined in the both of us through marriage. we expect times of complete surrender, as we so naturally cling to control and our own understanding. mostly, we pray that God would continue to change us as we rely completely on Him alone.

gotta love the internet...

i was searching the internet for information about san pedro sula, the orphanage we would be volunteering with, and the local community and found this previous teacher's blog. turns out, he's canadian, but worked at EIS from 2005-06, and so it was fun to read through his experience working there for a year. take look and you'll get a sneak peek in to what we're getting ourselves into. some highlights for me were: scuba in belize, going to guatemala, nicaragua and el salvador for excursions, hiking up a volcano and a mountain, a triathlon on the island, and the sweet faces at hogar de ninos. enjoy! http://www.ballofdirt.com/journeys/7591.html

giving

as jason and i prepare to re-locate to Honduras in a few short months, we are working very hard to check a number of items off our very, very long to do list. each month that goes by brings new challenges to accomplish, ensuring we are ready for this big move! one of the most important items on our list involves faithful and loving servants of god all around the world. we have been supporting missionaries in warrenville, brazil and thailand together and separately for over ten years! the faces and names of these faithful servants have remained close in our hearts as they have become personal friends. as we prepare to leave for a year, it's most important to us that the missionaries we have come to love through our regular monthly support, continue to receive the prayer and funds necessary for their daily work. as we leave and prepare to use our very limited resources to pour in to the Honduran community that god has directed us to, please prayerfully consider joining our efforts in support of those close to us who are caring for "the least of these" all around the world. anything you can give would help. our plan is to continue our monthly giving as normal, but are prayerfully hoping that friends and family help us continue this responsibility as our financial lifestyle drastically changes. we would need monthly contributions from july 2011 - july 2012. if you will help, read on to learn about the organizations we support monthly, and contact us when you're ready to make a commitment.

warrenville youth and family services
http://www.outreachcommunityministries.com/page.asp?p=2&i=57
jason and i re-connected and fell in love while working at warrenville youth and family services. we both worked for the quest program, which serves local middle and elementary school students in the warrenville community. wyfs also offers counseling, financial assistance, mentoring and hispanic outreach services. this local ministry seeks to be the hands and feet of jesus in a hurting community, while restoring hope through opportunities for people working to become all god intended them to be.

thailand: servantworks
http://www.servantworks.com/well
i began supporting "the well" ministry in bangkok, thailand when a group of friends from aurora introduced me to jim larson and the vision god gave him to serve women and girls working in the sex-trade industry. this ministry has introduced many women to the saving and powerful love of jesus, while providing work opportunities to meet the financial needs of their families. one dear friend, prang, has returned to her village to work towards educating poor thai children, in hopes to prevent any more from entering the desperate life of sex-trade. god is doing a miraculous work in so many. i have been privileged to see faith in action demonstrated with such authority and love by the larson family, prang and many others connected with "the well".

brasil: action international ministries
http://www.actionintl.org/index.php?page=countries&item=5
god moved most dramatically in my heart as a 17 year teenager on a short-term mission trip to sao paulo, brasil. (fun fact... jason and i were on this trip together!) thomas and susanna smoak communicated the love of christ for the poor and hurting in the world so clearly and passionately. i was convinced that it's god desire to use anyone who is willing to bless others and communicate his love and truth to a fallen world. for a time i was convinced that the only way i could live out this calling was by leaving all i had in the states, and moving to the favelas of sao paulo. i'm not sure that god answered this question one way or another, yet, but i have learned through many conversations with the smoaks and times on my knees crying out to god, that the "where" of god using you matters little, compared with the "why" we are called to serve others and the "how". i was so fortunate in 2003 to return to brasil for a summer of learning about overseas ministry and god's calling on my life. truthfully, the most influential lessons i have learned about serving god can be directly related to my time in brasil or in community with the smoaks and their brasilian friends. currently, we support the smoak family in their calling to lead local and international missionaries in brasil, as well as local adoption efforts to provide street kids with loving, christian families. join us!

thank you for reading this rather long post, and hearing our desire to continue supporting the few organizations and missionaries that god has specifically laid on our hearts. we know god calls each and every one of us to give, and also that it can be very personal for some. please give cheerfully and out of the abundance that god has blessed you with. this is the best way we can think of to ask for support from our friends and family as we take this step of faith to move to honduras.

spring cleaning

spring has sprung! or for those of you living in chicago-land... spring is in the long-awaited process of "spring=ing". our morning started with a nice thick layer of frost on all windows of the car, and ended with leaving the gym wearing a very light hoodie. no more coat!

spring means so much to me.

as a teacher, spring means that ISAT's are finally over, and i can resume a greater control in my classroom and lesson planning. today's vocabulary Word of the Week (WOW! how cheesy, right?) was "germinate": to sprout, to grow. we spent a good part of the beginning of class brainstorming the various ways we experience nature "germinating", to which we all looked longingly out the window for even the slightest hint of spring.

as a student, spring means that i have FINALLY finished my Master's program in bilingual & esl education and curriculum & instruction. Phew... this has been a long process, of about three school years and every summer in between. as i look forward to using all the lessons and experiences that i have gained in this educational process, i am grateful for the arrival of spring to remind me of "new" and "possibility" and endless "opportunities".

as a friend, spring means the arrival of so many birthdays! i celebrate your birthday with you all during this joyous season of new beginnings. happy birthday to: zach, kiss, becky, ryan, abbs, honk, grandpa huston, nana, brooky, dad, mckay, wells, jessie, and casers!

as a wife, spring means that i am reminded to renew my commitment to my wonderful husband, as we watch god's commitment to his majestic creation unfold with each blossom that opens and each bird that sings. i am so grateful for you, jas, and am honored to be called your wife and to walk this journey side by side with you. i love you with all that i am.

as an adventure-lover, spring means that we have four short months to pack our apartment, store our "things" and ready our hearts to move 4168 miles away to san pedro sula, honduras. geesh. not enough time. we'll get the logistical things taken care of for sure. i am more interested in preparing in more "important" ways. we look forward, this spring, to dinners with friends and family, laughter, sharing stories, hugs, tears, and many, many memories together. call us! :)

as a follower of christ during this lenten season, spring means the opportunity to reflect on what god is doing in and around me, and to center myself once again on his higher and greater purposes. jason and i have challenged each other to be more intentional with our time together and with others. "how" we are doing this, matters little when compared with the "why". spring reminds me that i am made in his beautiful image, and in that to desire beautiful things in life. as i ponder the beautiful ways god calls us to live, i am challenged to love more, give more and wait more in his sweet presence.

and, as with most of us this time of year, spring means that i can clean out the clutter, sweep away the dirt, shine the dusty, dull places around me, and gaze even more at the glorious light that surrounds each of us any moment we would pause to witness it.

writing in pencil

i have really (understatement) enjoyed reading a book called, cold tangerines, by shauna niequist (shout out to abbi! it's wonderful, thanks!) she reminds me a lot of myself...excitable, passionate, energetic, bold (too bold at times), connected to family, an entertainer, a planner. something she wrote in the most recent chapter i read speaks profoundly to my heart and this season of my life. she starts off, "i am finally willing to admit something about life, i should have written in pencil." she goes on to describe how completely and perfectly she is able to plan each and every detail of her life, to the point that she might have as well written in permanent marker.

hmm, that's definitely me. sharpie markers are even my preferred writing instrument. i love, and i mean love making to-do lists, and then crossing off all my accomplishments. i have even been known a time or two to write something on my list after it's accomplished, just so that i have the rush of being able to cross it off. i love calendars, keeping track of each and every detail of my life, and now jason's :), too. i always have a plan for the next day, the next week, month, etc... i planned as a child to someday become a teacher, check. i planned to marry an incredible man, check. i planned to learn another language, check. i have done a good job of controlling the things in my life, or so i thought. when the college of my "dreams" became impossible, and then my second choice as well, i felt like my life was turned upside down. of course i know today that God had a plan much bigger and better than mine. but this experience is only one of many that shows a very clear pattern of how God works in my life.

it's scary that i can plan so perfectly, to the point of not really needing God's involvement. well, thankfully my Father knows my needs far better than i. i see how so many of the biggest decisions of my life were either: 1. made for me (college), or 2. the result of a huge step of faith (like honduras). i realize now that i have always been just craving control. i have wanted the details of my work, relationships, faith, where i would live, and family to be written in bold and permanent sharpie markers. this chapter in shauna's book reminds me of the importance of viewing so much of life as written in pencil. not so permanent, but flexible. not so bold, but calm and patient.

"everything is interim. every season that i thought was stable and would be just how it was for a long time ended up being a preparation or path to the next thing. when you decide to be on this journey with God, everything is interim." when i view the details as my life as permanent, i squeeze out God. i stop listening for his still, small voice to speak to me, to move me, to challenge me. when i live like i have it all figured out, i leave out God's gift of His presence to lead and to guide us. to give us hope. to give us purpose in all things.

i really like the image of writing in pencil. this is a huge challenge for me. i have to commit to waiting on God more, instead of running full speed ahead. i have to be willing to listen and silence so much of the "noise" in my life. i have to be willing to do things and go places i never would have imagined or planned. that's scary for me. this move to honduras is definitely a pencil decision. it's not listed on a single "to-do" list i have written. it's never been a specific prayer request or even dream. this decision is definitely a faith decision. we're trusting God to change us through this and root us more in His Truth. we are hoping to find adventure, loving people, a closer relationship with each other, and a deep purpose for how to live each day with radical faith, hospitality and love for others. how amazing that God is patient with us. He understands we are on a process to knowing Him more and loving Him more. i am encouraged by 2 corinthians 3:18, "And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." keep writing in pencil friends, God is good to lead you!

unos cambios

hello all... thanks for praying for us during this process. we are sooo happy to report that come august 1st, jason and i will be embarking on a new adventure to teach and counsel at a wonderful school in san pedro sula, honduras! escuela internacional sampedrana is located in the large (1.2 milion) metropolitan city of san pedro. jason will be the middle school counselor, and i will be teaching in the middle school. we are excited about the opportunity to practice our spanish skills, grow in our professional abilities, and even more to take this step of faith, trusting God to deepen our faith in Him and our love for each other. this adventure will most certainly provide us with countless memories and learning experiences. we anxiously look forward to them all! as the reality sets in though, that we are moving so far away from the people we love most, our hearts are already starting to experience some of the loss that will undoubtedly continue in the weeks and months to come. as you continue to remember us in your prayers, please join us in praising God for allowing us such an amazing opportunity. also, pray for our faith to remain steadfast in the truths of His Word, and for our hearts, which are full of joy yet feeling a bit broken at the same time. we can't wait to see what God has for us in Honduras! check out some exciting pictures of our new home...

1.1.11

a friend of mine encouraged many to live for the One this year, and consider today, most unique of days (1.1.11), exactly what that looks like. in my quiet times i have been reading chambers', "my utmost for his highest". today's message is timely and encouraging for all who are seeking something to focus attention on in the new year. the reading starts with an interpretations of paul's letter to the philippians.

"my eager desire and hope being that i may never feel ashamed, but that now as ever i may do honour to Christ in my own person by fearless courage".

my english standard version states, "as it is my eager expectation and hope that i will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death" (phil. 1:20). but the importance of what paul's trying to say doesn't end there... he goes on to add one of his most read quotes, "for to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain".

i remember participating in an inductive bible study of the book of philippians several years ago, and this theme of paul comparing life and death was woven through the whole of the book. the major theme, as i can remember, is that of a bond-servant rejoicing. the idea of a bond-servant was most fascinating to me. a bond-servant was someone who satisfied his earthly duties of service to his master, yet once given the opportunity for freedom declined. the bond-servant instead chose to voluntarily devote himself in service to his master, most likely because of love for his master and the quality of life he would maintain under the care of another person, even a master.

paul used this imagery of a bond-servant throughout his letter to the philippians to demonstrate the level of service to his Master to which he had committed his entire being, both in life as well as in death. and he does so REJOICING! read philippians, it's truly inspirational! as he wrote, he encouraged his fellow believers to also live the life of a bond-servant, fully devoted to one Master. today as believers in the One True God, we are encouraged to rejoice as we proclaim the truth of Christ, to rejoice as we serve Christ, to rejoice as we persevere in Christ, and finally as we rest in His truth.

but, like a bond-servant, we are given a choice. the ransom on our lives, due to the sin in us and in the world, was already paid because of Christ's perfect sacrifice and miraculous resurrection. the choice is now up to us. will we choose everyday to live like someone who's Master has paid the ultimate price and given all so that we might experience fullness of joy in a relationship with Him? Will we surrender our own wills, desires, hopes, etc?

both chambers and paul explained that this surrender of will is not something easily, or quickly achieved. it's an on-going decision. chambers encourages us not to focus on what this type of surrendered living may cost us, rather to remember that God does know the cost, better and more fully than we ever will. and so we say in surrender, my utmost for your highest Lord. paul says it a little differently. "for to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain". wow. he knew the ultimate display of surrender may be for some to die. many people sacrifice their life daily for the sake of proclaiming and serving christ. their names are unknown to you and to me, but God knows them all. He rejoices alongside them in their lives and in their deaths, as He desires to do in each of our lives. This type of living (and dying) takes courage. It demands perseverance. It needs hope. It requires a complete surrender of one's life in service to a loving, all-knowing and truly good Master.

so friends... on this day of making change. i ask you to help me keep my faith. pray that i might not feel ashamed as i seek to live with fearless courage completely in honor of the One and only deserving Master.