Feliz año nuevo

i just got off the phone with Ilania, my old "muchacha" from the first month of school. she cleaned my office area at the school. she was also the one who bought me a large tin of gourmet cookies for my birthday, just 3 weeks after school started. she's probably the reason i am feeling more and more confident in my spanish. we used to talk each and every day. about work, family, our pasts, our dreams. when she was moved to the elementary school she cried, we both did actually. i realized then that we had become friends. the middle school threw her a surprise going away party, and she looked so happy. in the midst of all of her tears, she looked like the happiest person i'd ever seen. i'll always remember that. now our conversations are fewer and far between, but bless her heart, she always makes time to find me in my office for a quick visit. it seems like she has my schedule memorized, because she always knows when and where to find me. when i'm not there, she asks about where i was and if i was okay. i met her husband at the christmas party, he loves her very much. i can see why. tonight she called to wish me a happy new year, ask how i was feeling (i was very sick before break), and in the end, just to talk. to be honest, i almost didn't answer the phone. i care about Ilania very much, and treasure our conversations together at school, but tonight i was tired. i didn't think my spanish was up to the task. jason and i were eating dinner, relaxing on the couch. it was not a convenient time. ugh. i hate that this is true about me sometimes. for whatever reason, i answered anyways tonight. boy am i glad that i did. tonight i remembered how life can happen to you at any time. God can bring something or someone across your path at any time, for His purposes. our task is to watch for His hand in life, watch for it very carefully. listen for His voice to prompt you. then, take a step of faith, most often towards something that makes you feel uncomfortable, inadequate or simply inconvenienced. i love Ilania for the way she has considered it her mission to help me feel like i belong here, in honduras. she is selfless, generous, joyful, and so very strong. it's hard for me to think about, or even imagine fully, how different our lives really are. but, to her it doesn't matter. our paths have crossed, thanks be to God, and we're both working to build a very unlikely and unconventional friendship. if jason and i were counting up our reasons to stay, she'd be at the top of the list ;)

2 in 2012

moving to honduras has been one of the most challenging decisions i have ever made. only second to moving here with my "new" husband, as we are trying to figure out who we are as a couple and who we are as individuals in the unifying bond of marriage. there have been moments i have felt so emotionally low this year, that if presented with a one-way ticket home, I would have snatched it up, stopped what i was doing, and sprinted to the airport without any hesitation or glances back. today is different though. jason and i have officially decided to return to honduras in august of 2012 for a second year of teaching and counseling. the road to this decision has been uncertain, but with a lot of thought, prayer, advice and listening to our hearts, we feel confident that God is working in us and through us according to His good purposes. and so, we stay.

there are probably more reasons to leave and return home for good in june, rather than to stay. to this i'd say, reasons aren't everything. sure we live in the most dangerous country in the world (according to international crime statistics from december 2011), and to top that, san pedro sula (our city), has the highest murder rate in honduras. we have heard so many say, "why am i teaching here", and we've thought the same. we can make a lot more money in the same job most anywhere else in the world, so why stay for another year? the streets are dirty, the infrastructures collapsing, systems failing, and boy can it get HOT! i don't have answers to those questions, and i'm okay with that. if my best friend or younger sister were contemplating the exact same decision, i would most certainly and emphatically tell her to pack her bags immediately and get on the first flight back to o'hare! so if that's what you're thinking, i can't blame you, i'd think the same thing in your shoes.

since i can't really refute the many reasons to leave honduras, i'll attempt to convey what's in our heart, which has prompted us to stay. somewhere along our christmas travels, and sometime in between Costa Rica and Nicaragua, our hearts towards honduras changed. ever so gradually, so that we didn't realize what was happening. but on december 30, tired after two weeks of carrying our backpacks from hostel to hostel, begging for a bed to sleep in, i turned to jason and said, "i'm ready to go home". to which he replied, "uh.. sure.. yeah.. i guess we can home. you have a job, and i can always start looking for a job....." i couldn't believe it, until i heard his stammered reply, but i was ready to go home, home to honduras.

i've posted before about "home". since my parents moved several years ago, i've moved nearly every year to a new "home", be it apartment or the blue room at mama's. in those transitional years, home stopped symbolizing a physical place, instead, it became more of a state of being. there are a few very special places to me in my life, which have been home to me in one way or another. but during this trip, i realized that there's so much truth to that kitschy phrase, "home is where your heart is". no, i'm not saying all my heart is in honduras, don't worry :) but over time, honduras- both the place and the people- have become "home" for me and jason. we longed to return to casa 56 b, where we could sleep in a warm, clean bed and take a shower. we were excited to hear our friends stories from their travels. we couldn't wait to reunite with angel and adolfo, our guards, who were praying for us and care so well for our needs here. today, after my first day back, i remember how much i enjoy my students and look forward to another semester of learning together. (this realization didn't come quite so quickly, for obvious reasons).

we have tried to make this decision without comparing "home" and honduras too much, or putting too much weight into my series of pro/con lists ;)... rather, we sought God and asked Him to direct our steps and work in our hearts to know how to act in a way pleasing to Him. i don't necessarily believe one decision is the "right" or most God-honoring decision, but that's how we tried to pray. we know from scripture that if we delight in the Lord, He will give us the desires of our heart (Psalm 37). I have struggled for years now, how to make decisions that honor God, but I'll always remember the wisdom Thomas spoke to me while living with his family in Brasil. He told me life was so much bigger than our "calling" as we perceive it. The greatest calling God has given us to love Him with all of our heart and worship Him with all the days of our life. The "where" and the "how" don't hold as much importance as I place upon them. So, as we've attempted to live and work here in Honduras, we've again and again had to center our purpose on that truth. How am I loving God and worshipping Him alone today? For now, we believe in our hearts that here in Honduras we are loving God in our personal lives and in our relationships with others. We pray that the ways that we interact with our neighbors, friends, students and help would be in a manner that's worshipful to Him.

we find rest in our decision, confidence in our unity of minds and hearts, and hope in the months and year to come. please pray for our spirit, that when we are discouraged we would turn to God to satisfy our desires and meet our deepest needs. we love you and miss you all. june can't come soon enough...

“He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” Micah 6:8

Costa Rica & Nicaragua: December 17-31, 2011

here's a LONG description of our trip backpacking through Costa Rica & Nicaragua for our Christmas vacation...also, check out the link for pictures (starting at #266). hope you enjoy the details!! Saturday, December 17 (Day 1): - 3:45 flight to San Jose, Costa Rica..."business class" service with lunch meal, leather seats, the works! - hostel shuttle service...with "Sr. & Sra. Redelman" sign, to our lovely hostel, Casa del Parque ("park house")...right across from one of the many public parks in San Jose (already a noticeable difference from San Pedro Sula) - dinner at #1 ranked restaurant in San Jose, Tin Jo...delicious Thai/Curry meals and Satay! Sunday, December 18 (Day 2): - morning exploration of city and market... souvenir time already! - taxi to chicken bus station, one of the many... we realized we went to the wrong station, so we amended our travel plans and took the bus to Jaco, Costa Rica - beautiful bus ride through the northern mountains to the very popular beach town, Jaco - taxi to next town, Playa Hermosa ("beautiful beach"), where we booked to stay for three nights - Las Brisas ("the breezes") wasn't all we had expected, since it was far from the beach, so we resolved to stay for the first night, and then explore the beach front hotels in the morning to find a place where the sound of the waves would lull us to sleep :) - dinner at Vista Hermosa ("beautiful view") restaurant...wide variety of meals, delicious seafood and fresh fruit smoothies, and of course, Nica Libre Monday, December 19 (Day 3): - tasty continental breakfast at Las Brisas, and then a walk into town to find our next stopping point...after checking out a few places, we landed on the incredibly picturesque and comfortable Tortuga del Mar (Sea turtle) - long walk back to Las Brisas, we gathered our packs, and then another walk to the beach and La Tortuga... roughly four miles of walking already... phew! our packs are seeming heavier by the day ;) - we really enjoyed the black sand beaches, rough Pacific waves, cool ocean breezes, bug free zone (everywhere!), plush greenery and abundant wildlife - I enjoyed an hour long massage, on our deck, overlooking the ocean and hearing the magic of the crashing waves... ready to relax now! - lunch at Tres Amigos in Jaco and dinner at Vista Hermosa...again...so delicious! Tuesday, December 20 (Day 4): - after (another) delicious meal, breakfast at Las Olas ("the waves"), we embarked on our first real adventure of the trip... surf lessons in Jaco - Roberto, our surf instructor, has lived in Costa Rica for 8ish years, born in Eritrea, of Ethiopian and Italian descent, lived every summer in Italy with his father's family, most recently from Hawaii, and has traveled the world, oh, and did I mention he speaks 6 languages fluently?! needless to say, he made our surf lesson quite enjoyable! I know this won't surprise you, but Jason "got up" right away... his first try! Roberto gave a few tips along the way, which only caused Jason to be even more successful, and then spent the majority of our 3 hour lesson coaching me to stand up. I would say I got 60% of the way up... more than to my knees, but not quite upright enough to constitute actually surfing. It was rough! Roberto kept insisting that the next wave was "mine", just right for me to be able to stand. I tried to assure him that my success, or lack there of, was no indication of his abilities as a coach, but he insisted that I keep trying. After three hours, losing my suit countless times, swallowing pints of salt water, a "creeper" watching me tumble (suit-less) off my board more than I'd like to admit) and being hit in the head twice by my own board, I thank Roberto emphatically and assured him I felt the experience was a success. His last pep talk to me consisted of him assuring me that surfing was "my sport" and that I should continue with lessons. "We'll see"... i replied. Jason, on the other hand, loved every minute and was quite the natural on the board. I hope to see him surf again someday! - after surfing, we enjoyed Gelato with Roberto and had a quite serious "purpose of life" related talk... it's amazing to me how transparent and open travelers can be about their viewpoints about life...we are praying that our conversations and time with people would shine the light of Jesus and testify to his Perfect Love Wednesday, December 21 (Day 5): - day trip to Manuel Antonio national park in Quepos... and thanks to Lauren (Kusey) Marlowe who connected us with her "Costa Rican tio" and tour guide during her honeymoon...Pedro Salazar. Seriously, if you're ever in the Jaco area... you HAVE to look him up. He made our day exploring the Pacific coast and national park such an incredible experience!! - highlights: howler monkeys, spider monkeys, and more monkeys...jason was thrilled! deserted beaches, refreshing water, diverse vegetation, tarzan-like vines (which my stud of a husband climbed, after Pedro told us how impressive it was when he saw a Marine climb it) :) go Jas! huge rocks, breaking my camera in the immense waves, seafood lunch splurge, education drive with Pedro learning all about the history of Costa Rica, it's plethora of fruit bearing trees, and the circle of lie that sustains the gorgeous country side Thursday, December 22 (Day 6): - sad morning leaving Tortuga del Mar... we extended our time here by one day because we love it so much! - water taxi (an hour long) from Playa Herradura (north of Jaco) to Montezuma on the Nicoya Peninsula...pretty sure we saw a shark almost get hit by our boat! - we settled at Sano Banano, a more pricey hotel option in Montezuma, but very centrally located in the heart of the city, including a tipico breakfast, and complimentary access to it's sister resort Ylang Ylang, a ten minute walk along a beautiful beach! we hung out all day poolside...sipping on cool drinks, watching monkeys frolic in the trees and napping to the sound of crashing waves. incredible. - dinner at Puggos, where we ate delicious baked eggplant, warm, fresh foccasia bread (yes, i had some) and another seafood dinner. the highlight, by far, was the homemade iced chai (first in 6 months), which almost brought tears to my eyes when i savored the first sip...sad i know, a simple drink bringing tears to my eyes... but if you know how much i LOVE chai, you'd understand how after 6 chai-free months (not by choice), this one simple experience brought me so much enjoyment! :) Friday, December 23 (Day 7): - hike to one of the three waterfalls in Montezuma...very treacherous and steep, but well worth the finish line! the waterfall pool was FREEZING, so we mostly sat and enjoyed the view... we did some pretty hard core praying, too, when we witnessed a local scaling the steep sides of the water fall (twice), in order to dive (the first time) and flip (the second time) from the falls. this was EXTREMELY scary to watch, and are convinced God, and God alone, spared his life...geesh. talk about extreme sports... - after we returned from the hike, we got all prettied up, and took another walk along the beach to Ylang Ylang for their nightly Latin Dance lesson. Turned out, we were the only ones to show up, so we enjoyed a private dance lesson in Merengue & Salsa. Dancing is a very good thing for us to do together. At least for me... it really forces me to learn how to follow someone else, and helps us to communicate differently and more intimately. we enjoyed the lesson (one of us more than the other), watched the sunset with a couple of drinks, and then walked back to our hotel for dinner and a Skype date with Caleb & Ash. Saturday, December 24 (Day 8): - today was a LONG (12+ hours) traveling day to Granada, Nicaragua...we took second class/ chicken busses most of the way... we also had to take a ferry back across the Gulf of Nicoya, to rendezvous with more chicken busses to the border, at some point in our journey we were fortunate enough to catch a first class TransNica bus along the side of a road (somewhere??)...this saved us HOURS of processing time at the border, as over 100,000 Nicas were returning from Costa Rica to see their families in NIcaragua for Christmas. We met travelers who has arrived at the boarder at 6 am (we started our journey at 6 am...arriving the border about 2 pm), to find out that since we were on the first class bus, we beat them to Granada. They stood in lines at the border for 8 hours. us...30 minutes. Definitely worth the extra $20 per person I'd say ;) - when we arrived in Granada it was raining...our first reminder of life in Honduras. It hadn't rained once in Costa Rica. we walked in the rain to our hotel, Hotel Spa Granada, where we found our room quickly and jumped on their wifi to make our calls home for Christmas. while we got ready for dinner, we found Sound of Music on the tv, and I remember how many sleepovers we had at Mama and Tata's and watched that classic with the cousins. a little gift from God just for us that night. we didn't eat dinner until 10 pm, but our fixed menu, four-course meal at Encuentros ("encounters"), was definitely worth the wait. didn't quite feel like Christmas Eve... we missed family and friends A LOT this day. we're very grateful for the technology we have which enables us to communicate, but there's no substitute for quality time together. our minds told us it was Christmas, but in our hearts it was just another day. we love you! Sunday, December 25 (Day 9): - we had a nice relaxing, slow Christmas day reading and napping by the pool. we had more opportunities to talk with family and then we went exploring in the city. we found a 5 pm Christmas evening mass, and enjoyed the experience of honoring Jesus with hundreds of other Nica believers on His birthday. Christmas was mellow, refreshing, and overall enjoyable--even though it was just the two of us for the first time ever. Monday, December 26 (Day 10): - we left Granada today, but chicken bus of course, to Rivas, where we took a Taxi to the port town of San Jorge. There we boarded a ferry to La Isla Ometepe, and the island port city of San Jose del Sur. starting today we hadn't made any reservations in advance... so the real adventures began. the ferry ride was magical, with the crystal clear Lago Nicaragua, twin peaks of the Maderas and Concepcion volcanoes, and most brilliant of sunsets. we really enjoyed the time together, just sitting and watching the sun go down on another day. this trip really is bringing us closer and closer each day. - we found, what seemed to be, the only hotel with an open room, Hotel Finca Venecia, and gratefully booked the only cabana they had left (since their reservation was a "no-show"). we enjoyed another seafood dinner, and then collapsed into bed after another day of traveling! Tuesday, December 27 (Day 11): - there was "no more room in the inn", so we started our journeys again in the morning after a delicious tipico breakfast of eggs, gallo pinto ("rice and beans"), plantains, fruit and cafe. our plan was for our taxi driver from the night before, 22 year old island native Jorglis, to drive us around the dirt road island unti we could find another place to stay. we made friends with Lance and Rita, who were in our same situation, and the four of us began the trek to Merida, on the Maderas volcano side of the island. After our first choice, Hacienda Merida, was booked we settled for another place. I'd rather not be negative, but let's just say, when you don't plan ahead, you can't afford to be very "picky", or rather, at all selective. I had the hardest time out of the four of us, but I handled the one night there, knowing we would move on again in the morning. we decided the best way to make the most of the day was to leave the hostel and explore the Maderas volcano region. we hiked for hours to another secluded waterfall, also incredibly beautiful and cold! we met a Belgium couple who took our picture, since none of brought anything on the hike. hopefully we'll bet those pictures some day and can share them with you! after our day of hiking, we were tired, sore and extremely hungry! we walked another km down the road to Hacienda Merida for dinner. delicious, buffet style. more fruit smoothies! with full bellies, we walked back to our hostel and stopped at another well-reviewed place, La Omaja. what does it stand for you, you ask? what's your first guess??that's it! The Omaha! the owner is from Omaha, NE... and of course this elicited a quite energetic and overly friendly response from yours' truly. we shared Big Red stories, toasted Nebraska with our Nica Libres, and then returned out long walk back "home". the emotional high i experienced from meeting a Nebraskan in Nicaragua lasted all the way the door step of our hostel room. :) a very long, sleepless night...and finally it was morning again! Wednesday, December 28 (Day 12): - today we parted ways with Lance and Rita, and took the chicken bus across the island to Finca por Venir (literally, "come to the farm" or "the farm to come"), where there was a hike displaying a representation of the many petroglyphs found on the island. our chicken bus ride was quite eventful, as i sat with an actual chicken carrying farm lady! chickens on the chicken bus for the first time! she graciously obliged me with several pictures. we also met our next friends along our journey, Mike and Charles. the were plan-less for the day, and so our two-some became a four-some again quickly. the petroglyph hike was interesting at best, somewhat anti-climatic as none of us knew what we were looking for or looking at. so we continued our pursuit off the island after about an hour. we started off hiking, with the hope of hitch-hiking a ride to the taxi boat port, but encountered a taxi first. Mike graciously paid for our taxi to the boat, where we boarded the scariest looking wooden bottom boat I've ever seen. The taxi driver left us there with several benedictions of buenas suerte ("good luck") :) not sure if anyone had actually ever crossed the lake successfully in this boat, we all took a giant leap of faith, paid someone, and boarded. after an hour and a half of VERY choppy waves, we finally landed and regained our land legs. hugely relieved, we scoped out the best looking seaside cafe, and enjoyed lunch together and a quick swim in the lake (me). this is where our trip gets interesting... - Charles' friend, Alex, and his pitbull, Taz, offered to drive us to the bus station on their way back to his vacation home in San Juan del Sur. we gratefully accepted, only to find out that the last bus had already left for Leon. We weren't sure what to do... take a bus to Managua and find a place to stay in Managua...stay in the sketchy bus town Rivas...or head to San Juan del Sur for the night and then take the hour long bus back to Rivas in the morning, only to board the six hour bus to Leon. - i was getting very tired of making decisions, moving from place to place, and rolling the dice on whether or not we'd find a place to stay, so when when Alex offered us a free night in the estate on a high bluff overlooking the Pacific, we turned to each other, smiled from ear to ear, and again, gratefully accepted! - our night then became another adventure of ordering fresh lobster and tuna from the fisherman at the San Juan del Sur port, grocery shopping for vino tino, red beans, rice, garlic, limes chimichurri and Lozano's sauce. we all helped and put together this amazing community dinner! sitting around the table with four strangers, and Taz licking our toes, felt so normal and natural. it was an amazing retreat for us from the daily grime of hostels and chicken busses. we even played Up and Down the River. God sure provided big time today, for all of us, I think! Thursday, December 29 (Day 13): - we woke up well rested, and enjoyed one last meal altogether around Alex's table, before we reluctantly bid our goodbyes to our extremely generous guests. Charles and Alex's son, Cam, drove us to the bus station, and we enjoyed another deep, spiritual conversation. we pray God blesses the seeds we planted in the lives of the people we met during our journey. - after a couple different chicken buses, and shuttle vans, we arrive in Leon in the evening, only to find that the first three hostels we tried didn't have room for us. again...not planning ahead made this a very challenging experience for me. sweet, patient jason, amidst my angry meltdowns, managed to find us an ATM (since we completely out of cash), hailed a taxi, and took us a wonderful hostel on the edge of town Lazybones, where we gratefully spent out last two nights in Nicaragua. - we were exhausted, ate dinner at Mediterreano, a VERY over-rated restaurant...oh well, Trip Advisor can't be right all the time... and crashed for the night! Friday, December 30 (Day 14): - today we enjoyed a relaxing morning with breakfast by the pool, and reading in the garden-side hammocks. ideal. jason would have been find to remain stationary all day, but of course, i was ready to move on. we took a walk through the city, and found the bus to Las Penitas, the Pacific beach about 40 minutes away. we spent the day at Las Rocas restaurant and hostel. the name should have given it away for us, this wasn't exactly the lounge in the sand kind of beach. the ocean waves were fierce, creating a strong tide and undercurrent, made even more dangerous by the splattering of large rocks all over the coastline. one large wave could send your barreling into an even larger rock in a matter of seconds. we swam for a few minutes, cautiously at first, and then the first chance i had, i took advantage of the pausing of the waves, and swam out past the crashing point. this felt like heaven on earth for me. just floating in the cool, peaceful water. we found out later that sharks had spotted pretty close to where we were swimming, but in my ignorance, i was able to completely enjoy! :) - while eating lunch, we decided that we missed "home" and were ready to be done. we had a couple of other things on our original agenda, including hiking a volcano, but decided since the last few days had been so stressful, and since we ran out of cash (or so we thought...we found $200 stashed in one of our bags when we got home), we should probably put the exclamation point on this trip and return home in the morning. that meant getting lost with a taxi driver trying to find the Tica bus station, in order to buy our tickets for the 5 am bus ride home the next day. - dinner was DELICIOUS at Barbaro....our waiter laughed at us after ordering a chocolate milk, mojito cubano and two appetizers, and then wanting to hold on to our menus so could also order dinner :) we told him we were hungry, but i don't think he realized to what extent. knowing we would return to Honduras, and our lack of enjoyable dining options, we shamelessly indulged in another delicious and very full meal! then we took a quick walk through the market in central park, bought some souvenirs, and made our way back for a very short night sleep. our last night in Nicaragua. Saturday, December 31 (Day 15): - our taxi driver picked us up at 5:17 am, and drove us to some (closed down) restaurant parking lot, where he assured us out international Tica bus to Honduras would be picking us up any minute along its route from Managua to San Pedro Sula. we nervously waited about an hour, before we saw it speeding down the road. i jumped up and down, attempting to hail the driver, and embarrassing my husband in the process. he has more faith in the central american bus situation that i did. we then spent the next 12 hours or so on the bus, thankfully in the front row (not the back next to the bathrooms like our tickets stated) since two people didn't show up. we napped (a lot), watched movies, took pictures, and reminisced about our journey. we are very grateful to our families for their christmas gifts they blessed us with, giving us a cushion for the trip and allowing us to experience this once in a lifetime adventure. we are very grateful to the countless people we met during our travels, helping us to make memories, and make the most of beautiful Costa Rica and Nicaragua. thank you all for encouraging us to take this step of faith in moving to Honduras, and for understanding our desire to take this trip together, instead of return home for the holidays. it wasn't easy to be away from friends and family (again), but very enjoyable and much needed in our relationship. adios 2011!